I've been a big proponent of a systematic approach to African Grey training for pretty much as long as I've had African Greys. With this set of beliefs about what it takes to achieve great results, I'm dismayed when I hear people say that just doing what seems obvious and logical with their parrots is best, perhaps it is best if you don't mind leaving things to chance, but since your parrots are going to be with you for many years (the lifespan of an African Grey can be up to 70 years) I don't think that's an effective or sensible approach. I don't want to find out in 5 or 10 years that I've taught a bird to bite, screech, divebomb me and generally act like it runs the show – and believe me, I've seen birds just like that and worse when owners leave African Grey training to chance.

Let's look at just one element to start with – let's pick talking. You can either be systematic about how you teach your bird to talk, or you can let it pick up words and phrases at random. Sure, the random approach will probably result in some talking, African Grey parrots mimic noises in the wild without any training at all, so you'll get some results, but I'll warn you now, they probably won't be the results you want. For one thing, the bird will largely just be mimicking – it might learn hello and goodbye and a few other words because you use them in context so it learns to do the same, but a systematic approach where you have a plan will pay big dividends when your bird starts using a large number of words in context – it all comes down to planning and consistency.

Let's say that every time your bird said a word at random you reinforced it by repeating the word and rewarding the bird – although it doesn't really scratch the surface of what you can do, that would be a big step forward.

Birds need this kind of consistency to really learn rather than just repeat by rote.

Now let's say we were dealing with biting – you could be nice to the bird and hope it stops biting you. That would probably be about as effective as hoping the taxman would leave you alone if you didn't pay your taxes!

Even worse, you could be nasty back to the bird and shout at it or put it back in it's cage – please don't do this, not only will it backfire and cause the bird to bite more but it will also result in an unhappy, frustrated and confused parrot. That's a thought which makes me sad and should made you sad too.

Your parrot doesn't understand that it's being bad and as the human who chose to bring it out of the wild and into your home you must take responsibility for making it's life fun and exciting by building a great relationship with it – the bird doesn't know how and perhaps you don't know how right now, but you do have the benefit of being able to learn from other humans who have succeeded in turning their problem birds around and if you're reading this you probably have internet access too or at least know someone who does and there is a wealth of great African Grey training information available on the net which will help you build the close and loving relationship with your parrot which I know you want.

I know no-one sets out to get in an antagonistic and mutually unsatisfying relationship with their parrot, but that is quite often the result when people take a lackadaisical approach to African Grey training and just let whatever happens happen.

You absolutely must be systematic if you want to ensure you'll never be one of the unlucky people who have a screaming, biting ball of feathery hell on wings in their home! The good news is that all the hard work is already done for you – you don't have to discover the secrets that it's taken others years to learn, because there is literally a wealth of information out there once you start looking.

So if your African Grey training isn't going the way you'd hoped take heart and get yourself on the right track – with just a few short weeks or months of work you'll find that once you start doing the right things so will your parrot and I wish you both the very best for all the happy years ahead once you take control of the situation. Now go and give your parrot a nice treat right now and then get looking for the SYSTEMATIC African Grey training resources that really work.